Friday 18 February 2011

Stillness

I am craving stillness at the moment, which I find most amusing as I have never been good  at being still, not in the slightest! In the past even if I managed to keep my body still my mind remained so noisy, thoughts whizzing around at many miles per hour. There was always one of those horrid inner voices  telling me that I should be using my time properly - not indulging in stillness, asking me what use it could possibly be to do nothing? Yet my intuition is now shouting passionately that stillness is what I need to connect with myself, that there is much to be gained from what I  thought of as nothing and I am beginning to follow that intuitive voice, it talks a lot of sense if I only take the time to listen! I am seeing signs that times are changing for me everywhere, both within myself and in my surroundings:
A couple of years ago I took the Creative Goddess e course, the beginning of my creative rebirth, and as an end piece of artwork I created this:



She is stillness;  she is faith, she is strength, she is medicine. At the time it was all about the creating for me, my pride was in the fact that I had completed my first substantial piece of artwork but as this peaceful, meditative self portrait of me sits leaned against  my bedroom wall day by day I am drawn to her more and more - isn’t it funny how some things gain meaning and focus over time? She tells me I need to sit and breathe, shut out the  noise for just a few minutes, to just be me and that will be enough.
I find myself drawn towards objects symbolising the stillness I want to embody too, I am surrounding myself with them, each one a beautiful reminder:



Meditations have never really appealed to me until now, all of a sudden I crave them and feel so much richer afterwards. Don’t get me wrong,I have to have patience, even force myself  sometimes to sit down and be quiet when that endless to do list threatens to take over yet again, but when I do it is so simple and true.  Have a listen to the beautiful mediations of Liz Lamoreux on her website Be Present Be Here, she has the stunning ability to reach profoundly into my soul. Goddess Leonie’s meditation journeys on fear, sleep and chackra balancing are soothing and invigorating all in one bundle of magical goodness. Who do you listen to?  I would love to know.
My newly discovered passion for yoga is another turning point for me, as I have always admired yoga, always put it on my wish list of things to explore yet never fully reached out to it, knowing that it wasn’t in my personality to connect with such inner stillness. Yet here I am, learning yoga basics twice a week and pulling such strength from it as well as the inkling of an energy source I didn’t know I possessed.  Do tell me if you have any good beginner yoga dvd recommendations- I am on a voyage of discovery:)
For a creature of habit my daily path is broadening and,  although I am as always a frightened rabbit in the headlights of anything new, I am secretly quite enjoying these small but vital moments of magic.

3 comments:

Lis said...

Smiling big here Milena :) Such a lovely post ... so beautiful to see you listening to your inner voice that is telling you to go within and trust yourself ...I too have felt a strong need in the past few months to move towards stillness and an emptying out ... i've filled up on so much, now is the time to let it all ooze out and discover what lies at the very bottom of it all ... and to empty in order to fill again!

i don't know what dvds are available to you in the UK ... Kripalu yoga center (where I trained) has a nice beginners and intermediate dvd; for meditation and relaxation i like Sudhir Jonathan Foust (was my meditation teacher) ... www.yogatoday.com has a weekly free class if you just sign up (you can also buy individual classes) ... some of the classes are more advanced, but you do what you can ... I love Sarah Kline who is also a trained Kripalu teacher and also does Kundalini style yoga ... of course, you could fly me over and I would give you free private lessons :)

all that to say ... follow your intuition ... i too know how keeping busy can be a way to avoid myself ...

I loved seeing your Goddess painting again! Wasn't that the best class?! xo Lis

Barb said...

HI Milena, Your wonderful art always makes me smile - it's as though I can feel all the goodness inside you there in the images. When I meditate, I do so in silence - it is enough for me to attempt to quiet my mind without other sounds infringing. I took Yoga classes for many years and if you can find a gifted teacher, you will learn the asanas and then can do them independent of class. I do think it's important to have a teacher make adjustments to your poses and lead you to the correct placement of your body. Remember to breathe deeply - the breath is a gift!

rachel awes said...

your stillness is beautiful. xox