Friday, 12 October 2012

I'm moving...


Dear friends,

I have decided to move my blog. I am still using blogger but have long wanted to unify my google accounts etc to make my life that bit simpler. I’m all into the simplifying movement at the moment and by also doing a bit of long needed housekeeping and decorating, I intend very much to set the scene for what is to come. I believe that with a few simple but focused intentions I will find my way back into this delicious blogging world. So please do join me over at http://spinningstoriesoflife.blogspot.co.uk and join me on this next path of my journey.

Friday, 14 September 2012

Back to the connection

Sometimes I find that it is best to just hold up your hands and admit that life got in the way of a project, that it is time to let that project go, instead of letting that unfinishedness turn into taunting - another endless item on the to do list. I fully intended to follow through the August Break Project, in fact I do have the photos for the last weeks but never got round to the haiku and the posting. It has been a bit of a rocky summer (understatement), one that I would rather move on from into my beloved autumn, and because of this I had to put aside a few creative hats for a while.  

And of course, the longer I've stayed away from blogging, the more intimidating that return post has become for me, an affliction I am sure many of you are also acquainted with. So I choose to begin again, without reproach and should haves, it simply is what it is. I will however share a few of the left over photos with you, just because I like them and wish to put them out there into the world.

In the last days of August I...


managed a few moments of self care...


felt the grass between my toes...


tended to my garden sanctuary...


welcomed the small moments of light...


explored nourishing comfort food...


finally purchased that reading chair...


created a foxy canvas bag, a present to myself...


and finally, travelled to see a kindred spirit.

Monday, 20 August 2012

August Break. 12th-19th.


Day 12.
ethereal beacon.
companion of the sleepless.
jewel of solitude.


Day 13.
excruciating,
the clatter of shattered nerves
bewilder all thought.


Day 14.
two hearts wide open.
fierce understanding connects.
together we heal.


Day 15.
uncertain black lines
appear with difficulty
a strong will persists.


Day 16.
oh to be an aunt!
roaring, delightful spirits
have stolen my heart.


Day 17.
worn threadbare today.
head and heart lay crestfallen.
aloof fog presides.


Day 18.
crumbled into jars,
the heady scent of lavender
remains reachable.


Day 19.
her ruby wings sing
be present in this moment
such beauty surrounds.


Sunday, 12 August 2012

August Break. Days 6 to 11.


Day 6.

proud and with much grace,
pink dancing ballerinas
weave in soft ruffles.


Day 7.

reminders surround.
speak the words out loud.
let them nest inside.


Day 8.

strung sequins reach out
into a day of dull clouds.
my footsteps guide me.


Day 9.

a long time ago
the story housed in my mind
spoke, "you cannot bake."


Day 10.

glance in the mirror.
confident layers of purple.
a stranger stares back.


Day 11.

vision and spirit.
intense woman of colours.
storyweaver soul.


(about Frida Kahlo)


Monday, 6 August 2012

August Break. Days 3, 4 and 5


Day 3.

strong, fierce, passionate.
finder of wondrous items,
turns world upside down.



Day 4.

myself reflected.
bold fortress of rich beauty.
roots spread deep and wide.


Day 5.

just me this early,
savouring spoons full of light.
time to breathe deeply.







Friday, 3 August 2012

August Break. Day 2.


still. unassuming.
an orb of glowing amber
melts away edges.


August Break. Day 1


It is that time of year again and I can't wait to begin! For the month of August I shall be taking a photo or two a day to record the day to day of my summer break. Taking part in this project is a wonderful way of keeping grounded, keeping my senses wide open and making mindfulness a regular practice. Usually I try and pair up my photos with a quotation that I love, however this year I am aiming for a haiku a day to accompany my images. So here it goes:


rich and earthy pods
ignite. create dancing fire.
now I can begin.

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Poetry and more poetry

Two blog posts in one week- spot the person on her summer break! I've literally just finished writing a poem, once again prompted by Inner Excavation, this time my goal being to connect more with my physical body. I chose to explore my shoulders as I they are are pretty good indicators of my state of wellbeing, both physically and mentally. How often do I notice in a stressful moment how constricted my shoulders feel and how often do I sigh as lay against my pillow at night when my shoulders finally drop for the day. And when I give myself  permission to dance, my shoulders literally unlock the rest of me in their movement. By noticing them I notice myself in this moment.


These shoulders

Sometimes...
Raised so high
That they reach my ears,
Whispering feverishly.
Wound tightly,
At snapping point.

Sometimes...
Carrying stories
For myself
And for others.
Grounded.
Strong.

Sometimes...
Crumbling 
Into a defeated
Invisible heap,
When the sky
Has fallen down.

Sometimes...
Cradling the past
Softly.
Steadily.
Ebb and flow
With each deep breath.

Sometimes...
Shimmying
To the beat,
Shaking awake
Rigid bones
Of an introvert.

Sometimes...
At twilight,
Releasing,
Sinking back
Into the creases
Of dreams.


A little something to leave you with; another shared piece of much loved poetry:







Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Inner Excavation goodness


Blimey, the last few weeks have flown by and although I had lots of blog ideas in my head, very few of them even made it into note form onto my laptop. However, as I am practicing being kinder to myself, forgiving myself for the actions I deem to ‘not be enough’, I shan’t start with an apology of my rubbishness. Instead I will share with you a couple of pieces of art journaling I have been working on. Both pieces came into being through the work I have been delving into as part of Liz Lamoreux’s Inner Excavation read along. Seriously, there are so many treasures in each chapter that I shall be busy for quite some time ( she rubs her hands with glee). The first piece relates to the idea of being in this moment, stopping and taking stock, capturing the moment you find yourself in and seeing the layers. For me, too many moments recently have involved rain. In fact I have never experienced a summer like it before! It is easy to joke on a sunny day like today - and oh how much have I neeeeeeded this light and warmth- but the cold, dull and incredibly wet days have really affected me. I’ve felt limited, frustrated and just down right unwell. 

Therefore my initial intention was to create that atmosphere in a picture, to give my emotions some closure. But as so often, the piece I created took me on a different path and what I actually ended up with I found quite beautiful really. I created the background using wordle,  using a thesaurus for all those rain related words. Just by exploring words and fonts my frown eased a little. And the raindrops, which I wanted to make overpowering, turned out strangely soothing, with a comforting air of completeness about them. Of course I didn’t have a bird on my umbrella in reality but a bird needed to be drawn and totally by accident it looks like it is sighting land ahead, beyond the droplets. I am not a character artist by nature and in fact I stay well away, thinking that my attempts are rather childlike creations, but the mini me peering out from underneath the umbrella appealed to  me with her glowing cheeks and seeing eyes. 

And so I have learned yet again, that I have many layers, that even frustrating moments can lead to beauty and that I like drawing birds ;)


My second piece came into being by mixture of the prompt to create a self portrait and a recent blog post by Liz, in which she talks of seeing your characteristics as super powers, even the ones you may at first see in a slightly more negative light. And so my heroine alter ego made it onto paper. I love the idea of owning my serious nature, by which I understand that I am taking my life seriously. I have always found humour difficult and struggle to see things in a lighthearted way and until now have thought of this as some kind of failure within myself. But actually it is my serious nature that helps me to follow through on hopes and dreams, it supports and develops my relationships. It means I appreciate things instead of taking them for granted. And so it is in fact a hidden super power.

Sunday, 17 June 2012

i begin; i am



Today I am finally giving myself the time to immerse myself in the first week of Liz Lameroux's Inner Excavate-along,  a free read along project in line with her gorgeous book Inner Excavation, where each week holds a new chapter on exploring yourself through photography, poetry and mixed media. Liz has  prepared many juicy extras online, I can't believe how hard this lady works, and is excavating her own dig site along side us, therefore this feels like a really personal and authentic exploration. 

Of course I was always going to start with the poetry prompt (she types winking).



i am {a poem list}
clunking typewriter keys
kirsch soaked cherries
a determined flicker
an unlikely heroin
careful plaits
a hidden Charleston
black and white film
ebb and flow 
a tortoise shell
embroidered pride 
camomile infusions
solitude
folded edge pages
a cluttered sky 
patched scars
creases and wrinkles 
whispering frontiers
an island home
scribbles in margins
mending tape
patchwork 
isolated coastlines
shadow and reflection
academic embers
a pair of binoculars
forged words




Friday, 15 June 2012

niece wisdom


Five pieces of niece wisdom gathered at a family party recently:


1. Tables are great for hiding under to eat stolen strawberries. 

I need to sit under tables more often, what a change of perspective! Also strawberries definitely taste better when you are not sitting at the table properly. Whilst joining my niece Summer under the said table, I was taken back to a wish I had when I was little, to build secret houses under tables. I wanted to use blankets and table clothes and fill my new space with a multitude of cushions and cuddly toys. For some reason I never did. I can’t say that I was ever stopped from doing so but neither did anyone want to help me build a table house. I may well have to make my own den under our dining room table and have a poetry reading for one in there. This may sound just a little crazy but don’t we all secretly want to make cosy hide aways to cocoon ourselves in? I dare you to join me.


2. You can never have too many strawberries and they must be devoured immediately. 

Summer is, as you can tell, strawberry mad and eats them with such delight, such passion. She is fully in the moment with those juicy berries, not thinking about later on when the strawberries have gone, or what her mum will say when she has indeed eaten the whole lot whilst leaving her sandwiches. When joy presents itself, dive in my friends!

3. Some pieces fit straight away when you are doing a puzzle, others you have to keep turning and some pieces you may have to swap completely. Trying to bang the wrong piece into the hole doesn’t work.


I watched Casey for ages as she figured out the puzzle by herself at the grand old age of two. I like the idea of learning to see situations as puzzles to work out instead of as crises or feeling an utter loss of control in a situation. Patience and perseverance and a willingness to change things - oh yes, more of this please.
4. Trust takes time. 

Casey has taken some time to warm up to me. Whilst Summer flings her arms around me with abandon, Casey peaks nervously from behind her mother’s legs. She just isn’t quite sure what to make of me. She used to, in fact, cry each time she saw me. Often this made me feel sad as I love that little girl to pieces. But I knew I couldn’t give in, for I take auntiehood most seriously. And it finally paid off at the party, when she actively chose to spend time with me, handing me puzzle pieces and pointing to her board. This week, as soon as she saw me she brought a book over and placed herself in my lap, looking at me expectantly. My heart melted.
5. When the Summer of 69 plays you must get up and dance. 


Summer grabbed my hands and pulled me forwards as soon as the first notes had aired, her body already in beat with the guitar. Self conscious she was not! Self conscious I was, bearing in mind that until this point there had been nobody on the dance floor and that I am a complete introvert when it comes to these kinds of things. But you know what, what does it actually matter what others may be thinking, when the cheesy rock is  fabulous and you have a little girl turning herself into a rock chick :) I need to work on that sense of humour a little and learn to shrug my shoulders.

Friday, 1 June 2012

Bittersweet poetry


Another poetry offering for you today my lovely friends. When I read this poem for the first time, I knew I needed to share it with you, especially with the stationary addicts out there. It is such a truthful exploration of the awesome beauty and potential that crisp, new stationary has, and how this simply can't last - that special magic burns away a little, use by use. Things change. Of course the crayons in this poem could be a metaphor for many things, the poem has taken me onto paths that I am navigating step by step. Isn't it better to enjoy those 'crayons' for what they are instead of admiring from a far? Doesn't the feel of creating have much more depth? Isn't it possible to appreciate the new and the journey? That delicious  initial potential makes my heart beat faster, why don't I feel that way more often - what makes me so afraid?  However, taken literally, I love this poem for speaking to my stationary loving soul.


Friday, 25 May 2012

Dear Wasp



I am terrified of wasps. TERRIFIED. A childhood of summer holidays in Bavaria, where there are wasps a plenty, has left me with too many memories of the excruciatingly painful stings. However, I am a nature lover and hate to kill anything living, and so I told myself in no uncertain terms that I needed to grow up and rescue the wasp that had found itself inside my house last week. Anyone watching me would have been most amused as I talked to it gently, wafting my arms carefully in the direction of the open windows. And I did it! It flew off quite merrily without aggression. And I wasn’t stung. Over the next few days three more wasps visited me in this way ( unless it was one the one wasp, which had become rather fond of me) , this is quite unusual for where I live. I concluded that wasp must be a messenger and began to trust in the research. Oh yes, I needed to hear these lessons:




Order
Wasps stand for order and organisation. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I am an organisation freak, my husband often shakes his head in wonder and disbelief in equal measures! When I let go too much of this part of me, things do tend to go in the shape of the pear and I find myself feeling lost and off centre. On the opposite end of the scale, when I have that sense of order, it is like I have the space to spread out, to explore. So dear wasps, thank you for telling me that in finding order there is also the opportunity for growth.



Assertiveness
I had never really thought that the aggressive nature of wasps could have anything positive to teach me. But you know what, it has. When the aggression is in a protective capacity i.e. when it is to protect your territory, what you love and what you have worked hard for, then assertiveness is ok. I don’t mean meanness or violence by any means but I take it as a call to stand up for myself, to protect what I cherish and create. There have been a few times recently when I have been in the line of confrontation or unwillingly the centre of attention. Oh how I try to avoid confrontation.Oh how I avoid standing in the spotlight. In some of these situations I shied away, feeling an utter loss of personal power and to be blunt, I felt  rather upset. I find it incredibly difficult to understand how some people are incapable of respect when a difference in opinion occurs. However after the wasps, I gave myself a good talking to for I am an adult, I am able to stand up for what I believe in, in my many roles. And it works, even though it is totally nerve wrecking and a never ending process! 



Finding solutions
Having read all about how wasps make their nests using natural fibre and their own saliva , I am rather in awe of these creatures. Their house isn't a random mess either, it is all geometrically correct so that everyone has their place. Awesome. And so I ask myself, how good am I at constructing what I need physically? I am actually at my most mindful when I am making things, the words disappear and that wordless focus is replenishing and deep. Every time I garden I feel this way. Guaranteed. The nourishing dishes I am cooking these days make me feel the same. I feel this is a summer of making, with both feet planted firmly in my life.
(By the way I found a lot of wasp totem information on www.wildspeak.com)