What will I welcome more of?

This week Bella asks, what will I welcome more of in 2012? Well, I have a whole day of reflection planned for tomorrow, which will most certainly lead to another blog post, but the immediate thought that springs to mind is to have many cosy moments by  candle light. When I light candles I am making an effort for myself, I am acknowledging that I need self care. It is like a permission slip to sigh and stop for a few minutes. For candles bring a different kind of light, containing magic and memories and dreams. This light invites me to be still and breathe, to connect to the moment I am in. It allows me to recharge my tired body and mind. 

Good old fashioned mail

Tis the season of giving and I love it dearly, but this particular season has highlighted another dimension to giving for me. I don’t mean the piles of presents under the tree, which were all truly lovely, thank you santa, but the quieter gifts, the unexpected, the tokens given directly from the heart, and all in the form of real post.

At the end of rather an exhausting day in December, I came home to find a parcel from my dear friend Lis. I am sure she will blush as she reads this, but she is an amazing joy warrior. She leads with inspiration and with an incredible way of reaching out to the world. I am in awe of her selfless kindness to others and as I opened my package, I felt really honoured that she had taken the time and energy to think of me. I felt special. Inside the package lay a pair of self knitted gloves in gorgeous shades of purple- love at first sight, needless to say. She had also included some of her newly printed artwork cards, each one authentic, so her. The troubles of the day seriously washed away as I sat smiling. 

As if that wasn’t enough feeling special, I received a package addressed to The Amazing Milena Widdowson a couple of days later. I can honestly say that I have never read the word amazing in front of my name before and I was smiling yet again before I had even opened my post. It was from a truly lovely Soulodge sister, as part of a giveaway project I am part of. We were all to re-gift something that served us well but that we are ready to let go of, ready to give to someone else to benefit from. Inside was the smoothest pebble of the darkest blue; truly beautiful. I sat for a long time with it in my palm, it fitted perfectly. I was amazed that someone had chosen to give something so beautiful to me. I looked through it and loved the way it turned my world into hues of blue. A totem can do so much. With it there was also a note, written by this lovely woman who I don’t know at all, wishing me so many lovely things with the totem she had sent. I felt humbled.

The third gift of real post was one I initiated myself, the gift lying not only in the message for the receiver, but in the openness and clarity that my own heart felt as I wrote. I wrote to my oldest friend. She is in each childhood memory, each smile, each tear. Before I met her I used to dream of a kindred spirit, as Anne of Green Gables would say, and I found her. Yet as is so often the case, life moves on, directions part, the hours are too busy. There are many good intentions, lots of thoughts saved for later. And so our friendship over time became a quieter one. 

As I sat thinking about this yet again one quiet Sunday afternoon, I asked myself if this is how I really wanted things to end, with an odd email here and there, a meeting once a year if we both were able to commit to it, the threat of us becoming strangers.The answer was a resounding no, for life is so precious. And so I wrote a letter of memories, of how I missed her, of how special she is. Like so often the first step is the most difficult, but now there is hope again. I love the idea of making someone feel special by good old fashioned mail. I may very well sit down often this holiday period and write some real letters, seal in them in real envelopes and let them flutter into the world.

One picture

I am stupidly late with my photo for last week's prompt: Just one photo. Share one of your favourite photos of the year and tell the story behind it. 

Today I finally have the time to sit down and catch up with myself, to take a deep breath and connect. So here it is, a little quiet number, not singing or dancing, not technically my best, but glowing with a moment of blissful calm, and an aura of achievement, during a bustling holiday period.

I think I have mentioned before on this blog,  how I have longed  to learn how to knit for many years. I never gave myself a chance because I didn't think I was able; I hold the craft of knitting on a pedestal you see. Well, after giving myself a good old talking to, I've finally begun      (thank goodness for youtube) and am now the proud owner of a rather cuddly, self knitted scarf. Of course, I am a beginner, and there is soooooo much to learn, but I no longer feel inferior to the world of knitting- I may call myself a knitter yet.

Sweets and Treats and Feasts

I don't usually use an Instagram shot for this project, and I try to take a fresh photo rather than relying on a previous stash, however, I am so pleased with the sweetness and warmth in the below, snapped whilst savouring catch up time with a friend.

“You've got this life and while you've got it, you'd better kiss like you only have one moment, try to hold someone's hand like you will never get another chance to, look into people's eyes like they're the last you'll ever see... and eat cake like it's the only one left in the world!”
― C. JoyBell C.

Colours of the season

For this week's prompt, colours of the season,  I have tried to capture a moment that illustrates my love for the natural woods, the soft whites and greys, combined with the striking red of life, which represent my utter love for this part of the year. The Christmas tree lights shining through the frosted glass were a complete surprise. I love it when that happens.

I get a little warm in my heart

When I think of winter.

Tori Amos

Twinkling lights

I was going to have soooo much fun with the theme 'twinkling lights' this week, I could see a whole twinkling project (which will still happen, just not in time for the gallery)  but then a horrid virus struck and I have been struggling to do just the basics. So here is my very late offering, sending you lots of shining light.

Giving thanks...the purple edition

The prompt over at 52 Projects is Giving Thanks. There are many people and many things I could give thanks for in the post, and so making it quite difficult to rest my focus. As I sat and thought, and thought, and thought some more, I became aware of how I am loving the small,every day moments, which weave the fabric of our lives so richly and so intricately. The photo I have chosen is no ordinary ball of wool, no, it is a jewel of incredible beauty. It is a reminder to myself that just sometimes I am in fact allowed to think beyond the practical ( for it was the most expensive wool on the shelf and my purse doesn't contain many pennies a the moment) and to just enjoy my senses. Its hues of purpleness and its softer than soft textures made my spirit sing. And do you know what, when I got home I dug out a set of knitting needles that I had been given as a present once upon a time. I shall take my first knitting steps.

Before I finish I must include this shot of a spirit protector I created this week, for oh how she too made my spirit sing. Once again the purple softness shines!

Something borrowed

This week's prompt has to be the most challenging yet:

After much contemplation I came to the conclusion that I am not a borrower. I like to possess, not that I am a materialist, but  I love that sense of something belonging. Years of instability in my past have meant that I treasure the constants. Funnily enough I don't lend often either, I like to give freely instead. I don't like that sense of obligation to return something, especially if you have connected with it. So I opted for the spin and the answer is simply: time, for I am finding that there are not enough hours in the day currently -life feels hectic, demanding and intense -I feel I need to claw back that special time for myself to create, to rest, to simply be.

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!"

The White Rabbit. Alice in Wonderland.

Remembered...

Men and women of the two World Wars,

I honour you with every fibre of my being.

May the world remember your spirit,

And continue to learn from your actions.

Aqua

I loved the idea of adding a splash of vivid brightness through the theme of aqua this week but found it rather challenging to frame a shot that  was actually the chosen colour and that I was  satisfied with. Sometimes, I am learning, you just have to say to yourself that what you have created is enough, even when it doesn't hit your expectations!

A bird does not sing because it has an answer.  

It sings because it has a song.  

~Chinese Proverb

Walking the threads

So this week Spider has been gracing me with her presense over and over again. Those who know me are aware that I have quite an irrational fear of spiders, as many do, and I am usually more likely to be found running away from the tiny creatures, squeeling and begging someone to save me, rather than sneaking up close to take a more detailed look. But as part of my work on developing my intuitive skills I have been delving into the world of animal/spirit guides, my perspective opening up and beyond. I shake my head in wonder over and over again how I am finally becoming aware of ancient wisdom and lessons, which  I would not have given the time, nor the respect, to before. How easy it is to accept that distance from our origins.

I came across the most delicate, glistening spider web in my back garden, spun from the crisp November washing line to a plant container sitting dorment on the ground, highlighted beautifully by late Autumnal sunbeams. I stopped in my tracks, rushing towards the next item on my to do list completely forgotten. In the centre she was, still as still can be. Watching me intently. I’ve never examined the beauty of a web before and felt drawn to photograph its intricacy. I honestly felt awe at the intense achievement of this clever spider, who can create such beauty just by being her natural self and felt myself examining her just as closely as her home.

Once back inside I started researching and in the process I found a wealth of  strong medicine. Here are some of the delicious morsels I discovered:

Spider is the grandmother, the link to the past and the future. She is the wheel of life, the wheel of connections.

She is the spiral weaver, the centre of a world she constructs. She weaves her destiny.

She is the creative force with assertive feminine energy, focused with intent.

She is a unique combination of gentleness and incredible strenght.

She walks the threads with careful balance, both the physical and spiritual realms.

She is an ancient keeper of languages, a writer’s totem, a keeper of  knowledge and words.

Who knew that my fear hid such beauty and clarity?! I have much to learn from Spider.

Trick or treat?

***A little late in coming but wishing you all the magic of Samhain ***

The theme this week is trick or treat and as I carved my first pumpkin  and my husband baked his first pumpkin pie ever, I thought I would show the evidence with pride!

Vulnerable

My  intention for Dreamchair Adventures has always been  to reach for the many positives in my life and to share these with other kindred spirits. However, I am slowly but surely coming to the realisation that in order to put my whole self, my truth, out there, there also have to be moments of vulnerability. Hopefully this is not going to develop into a moaning post, where I pass on my misery to the world, but I do want you to see the whole me, warts and all. Thus, I shall put my brave hat on and continue typing away, building up the courage to hit the publish button at the end.

It has been one of those weeks when I have been able to  physically feel how tense and anxious I am. I am full of knots and twisted edges, of forced, strained movements.  Whilst there are  current events making my week far from stunning, there are also those underlying factors that periodically rise to the surface, and which I must work through time and time again:

Autumn is my favourite time of year, it is when I am at my most creative, my most productive. The crisp air and glorious colours make me feel so alive, so connected to my world. However, it is also the season when my physical self begins to drop, to struggle, to have to face battle to begin each day. I am often so very tired that I feel fully depleted, with nothing left. Thus I am  full to the brim with frustration. Add to this mixture  those negative gremlins, whispering so persuasively into my ear as I contemplate putting my art out into the world as motivation cards and you have an uncertain and most self critical me.

My anxiety levels are also stupidly high. Anxiety about what others think of me mixed with a heavy dose of anxious responsibility for the people in my life. To me there seem to be many cutting remarks and words said in the heat of the moment. People don’t seem to consider other people’s feelings as much as they used to, it is a harsher world I live in. As well as this I have been reminded this week how precious life is, and how very quickly it can change. Just like that. What you imagine to last forever, or do not expect to happen, has a habit of changing the goal posts. Of course we all know this piece of wisdom but reminders leave me feeling frightened, questioning everything. I think too much. I am not good at change. And as part of this week’s events I realise that the momentum of my fear of death and loss is building;I know that there is much work to be done there. I’ve never admitted I have this fear but releasing the words feels right at this moment in time somehow.

Staying with the idea of this harsher world I find myself in, and attempting to end this post on a positive note,  I do like to think that I am a warrior in the battle for good. I fight for that magical element, for a world filled with beauty, a world  full of  kindness and heart and dare I say happiness. As you can imagine  I am not very good at watching the news! I do think the world needs people who believe in this better world,  to keep the balance in tact; stopping the negativity and inhumanity from possessing it completely.  

Sometimes life is hard and I feel vulnerable. What do you do when those vulnerable moments hit with force?

Look up!

This week the theme to interpret is 'look up!' I lacked inspiration for this one, having already taken my fill of Autumn tree and cloud scenes this season, as well as feeling under the weather and therefore not particularly wishing to go wandering far. However, I woke up this morning and that light bulb pinged as I looked at my ceiling- up doesn't have to mean outside, I could have kicked myself for thinking too much inside the box. I love stars very much, they give such hope, such light, and so I try to collect as many as possible to keep me company inside when I cannot be outside to take in their timeless glory.

I am the symphony of stars.

Rumi

Autumn colours

This week's theme is Autumn Colours; a perfect fit for an Autumn lover like me. It was most interesting searching for quotes and poems to connect with my pictures , as so many with an Autumn theme are down right miserable! Autumn as the time of loss, of loneliness and impending darkness- it had me shaking my head in sheer disbelief, as for me personally it is the season of much richness and  creativity. I look forward to this time with all my being. But in the end I found a good old Bronte sister to support my heart's conviction and I shall also repeat my favourite George Eliot quote for good measure.

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the Autumn tree.

Emily Bronte

Delicious Autumn! My soul is wedded to it and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive Autumns.

George Eliot

Handwriting

Handwriting is this week's theme over at Bella's 52 Photos Project and I have say, I really loved creating my entry as it is a most personal one. The writing is from my journal, one of the most precious things I possess. My journal is the very heart of me; a treasure trove of memories and possibilities, fears and dreams, lessons learned and still to learn, explorations of both complex emotions and the very simple. Most important of all is that it is full of my stories. Journal writing is a saviour and inspiration for this soul.

Circles

This week's theme over at 52 Photos Project is circles. As I feel I am somewhat going round in them at the moment, searching for circles seemed deliciously ironic.

...But somewhere in a quiet place she packs her bags for outer space and now she is waiting...I would fly to the moon and back...and reaching out for human faith is a journey I don't have a map for...she's hanging all her hope on the stars, what a pleasant dream...

(My loved lines from To the Moon and Back by Savage Garden)

Along the fence

This week's theme is along the fence. What a brilliant starting point for a series of photos. 

'And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.'

Roald Dahl

Red

A very late entry this week due to the first cold of the Autumn term leaving me zapped of energy. The theme this week is red, which coincides quite nicely with the  shoes I treated myself to last weekend. Red shoes are a big deal for me, as I  yearned for a pair of shiny red shoes throughout my childhood. You see, my shoes always had to be of the sensible variety;I certainly wasn't a girly girl where pretty shoes would have matched even sweeter outfits and there wasn't enough money to buy anything just because you liked it- everything had to be practical and last a long time. I don't know why  I wanted red shoes, perhaps exactly because they would have been an adventure, a stepping out of the ordinary. Thus, as I walked past those shoes I heard them shout out in glee. Carpe diem ( seize the day) I thought.  I ignored those voices that told me that I was being frivolous, that I wasn't feminine enough. 

Shiny red shoes, just for me. Because I like them!

Walking the threads

These days I find myself expressing myself more in pictures, be it  through photographs or artwork, than by means of words alone. Less means more. I like to consider myself a lover of the power of words and I am not quite sure what is going on. However, I shall go with the flow. So instead of writing a detailed blog post this week, I shall show you the photographs I took whilst exploring my local nature reserve; so many treasures just waiting to be found.

Individuals were tied to the rhythms  and forces of nature. 

They were capable of walking the threads that link the invisible and visible worlds.

Ted Andrews. 

Words and pictures

This week's theme is words and pictures, the idea being  to inspire using a photograph layered with words. This has to be one of my favourite past times, indeed I am becoming quite a quote addict in the process. I have chosen a photograph I took during August Break ( the first time I have reused a photograph for this project) purely because it keeps on speaking to me, even weeks after I first took it. The quote is of course from the rousing Rhythm of Life song, which also seems to be cropping up rather a lot at the moment. I think there might just be a message there.