Inner Child

Isn’t it funny how the important lessons in life often happen when you are in most need of them?

This week I spent a lovely afternoon babysitting my two gorgeous nieces, Summer and Casey, and in the process had one of those epiphany moments, the simple kind when you think to yourself, "Why did I not realise this before?" or "When did I forget that?” As I set out for my afternoon I have to admit I was a little worried about my auntie babysitting duties, as I do not consider myself to be good at looking after mini people ( Casey is ten months and Summer has just turned three). Whilst I happily support any school age child to achieve their goals and  am even relatively confident teaching a whole class of pre hormonal ten and eleven year olds,  the idea of having responsibility for such little people quite honestly takes me way out of my comfort zone! But you know what, we had a great time, and we had a great time because I decided to just get on with having fun instead of letting all those negative stories win. We played and played and played some more. In the process that inner child came out and had a fabulous time putting on voices for Summer’s animals, making cuddly toys dance and watching the fabulous Scooby Doo. 

I felt liberated and I am convinced the girls felt that too; the best things happen when you stop trying so hard and love the moment you are in! Lovely Lis of Dandelion Seeds and Dreams has created the term 'Joy warrior' for actively reclaiming the joy in your life, she writes: 

“Being a Joy Warrior is not about doing more. It is not so much an effort, but a non-effort. It is a conscious choice to open myself up to Joy. That is it. Really. Trust me.”

I couldn’t agree with her more, she is a wise owl. After I read her post my Note from the Universe arrived in my inbox and told me:

“Hey, Milena, don't you see? The "right" circumstances, people, and opportunities are just like "good" ideas - they come to you fastest, once you relax.”

Serendipity indeed!

Anyway back to my auntie tale- it was also really special to see Summer so avidly engaged in her imaginative play world, talking to her toys, convinced they were alive and talking back, tending to their every need and telling them stories to make them feel happy. It reminded me so much of when I was small, when I too created whole detailed worlds for my own toys for hours and hours on end, they being as real and as special to me as any human could be. It is this passion, this belief in the imagination that makes me truly smile- that inner child needs to play as play is good for you- just ask Summer!

Stillness

I am craving stillness at the moment, which I find most amusing as I have never been good  at being still, not in the slightest! In the past even if I managed to keep my body still my mind remained so noisy, thoughts whizzing around at many miles per hour. There was always one of those horrid inner voices  telling me that I should be using my time properly - not indulging in stillness, asking me what use it could possibly be to do nothing? Yet my intuition is now shouting passionately that stillness is what I need to connect with myself, that there is much to be gained from what I  thought of as nothing and I am beginning to follow that intuitive voice, it talks a lot of sense if I only take the time to listen! I am seeing signs that times are changing for me everywhere, both within myself and in my surroundings:

A couple of years ago I took the Creative Goddess e course, the beginning of my creative rebirth, and as an end piece of artwork I created this:

She is stillness;  she is faith, she is strength, she is medicine. At the time it was all about the creating for me, my pride was in the fact that I had completed my first substantial piece of artwork but as this peaceful, meditative self portrait of me sits leaned against  my bedroom wall day by day I am drawn to her more and more - isn’t it funny how some things gain meaning and focus over time? She tells me I need to sit and breathe, shut out the  noise for just a few minutes, to just be me and that will be enough.

I find myself drawn towards objects symbolising the stillness I want to embody too, I am surrounding myself with them, each one a beautiful reminder:

Meditations have never really appealed to me until now, all of a sudden I crave them and feel so much richer afterwards. Don’t get me wrong,I have to have patience, even force myself  sometimes to sit down and be quiet when that endless to do list threatens to take over yet again, but when I do it is so simple and true.  Have a listen to the beautiful mediations of Liz Lamoreux on her website Be Present Be Here, she has the stunning ability to reach profoundly into my soul. Goddess Leonie’s meditation journeys on fear, sleep and chackra balancing are soothing and invigorating all in one bundle of magical goodness. Who do you listen to?  I would love to know.

My newly discovered passion for yoga is another turning point for me, as I have always admired yoga, always put it on my wish list of things to explore yet never fully reached out to it, knowing that it wasn’t in my personality to connect with such inner stillness. Yet here I am, learning yoga basics twice a week and pulling such strength from it as well as the inkling of an energy source I didn’t know I possessed.  Do tell me if you have any good beginner yoga dvd recommendations- I am on a voyage of discovery:)

For a creature of habit my daily path is broadening and,  although I am as always a frightened rabbit in the headlights of anything new, I am secretly quite enjoying these small but vital moments of magic.

Connection

Hello my lovelies! I know I have been quiet on the blogging front; January was rather a difficult month in many respects, and I simply found myself needing to hibernate, conserve energy and to have a good long think about where I want this creative life to take me this year. Even my word for 2011 has taken this long to emerge, but I am learning patience. Slowly but most surely the word CONNECTION emerged out of the mists of my mind.

CONNECTION for me has many layers. 

*Creativity

In 2010 I dipped  my toes into so many creative projects. I learned to paint, to art journal, to take photographs and unravel,  I played with words, nurtured my blog,  and toyed with the idea of a creative business. This year I want to take all that to a much higher level. I wish to commit myself and thrive. I wish for happiness and success. In order for that to happen I need to be mindful, to connect one hundred percent  with the task at hand. Whilst working my way through Goddess Leonie's gorgeous 2011 planner I was asked what goals I want to achieve this year. The answer came loud and clear that I want to make a creative business happen for myself. 

So I’ve begun to brainstorm

I’ve begun reading the very insightful 

Flying Lessons by Kelly Rae Roberts

And I am committing myself to connecting with this blog much more fully this year. I want to make myself accountable, to write on a weekly basis, to show you more of this wonderful creative journey. As you can hopefully see I can already feel the momentum picking up as I clutch onto that word connection. Watch this space...

*Nurturing relationships.

I am an introvert, I don’t find relationships and friendships easy but those who I hold dear are so very important to me. I wish to connect more intensely with those I love, admire and respect. I want to see more of them, to be more aware of them, to treasure them more mindfully than before. Not only do I want to work on long existing relationships but also to nurture new friendships.  In 2010  I was lucky enough to meet some amazingly creative ladies online and this was such a new, liberating experience for me - I wish to connect more deeply with this rich, powerful, tribe as surrounding myself with like minded creatives has been an inspiration and a revelation. I am reminded time and time again of how short and precious life is, I wish to celebrate the goodness within it. 

*My spiritual self, my soul,  that intuitive goddess within.

I feel a real pull to that Sacred Feminine (as the truly insightful Creating Wings describes it) and I feel really excited by the possibilities. Little altars are appearing everywhere...

To finish with today I would like to share two images with you. You see, I have been learning some photo shop basics with the amazing Kim Klassen; this woman has so much knowledge to share and she is such an amazing teacher. I am not naturally inclined towards the world of technology but the way in which she shares her wisdom is simply magical. I am taking baby steps but am rather proud of my first results ( she types smiling).