Sometimes I really would like to be that ostrich in the sand, just for a little while, to have the time to rest, the time to digest, the time to hibernate and feel cocooned. At the moment my main wish therefore, is to fly away from that constant ticking of the clock, from the hands of time. These last few weeks have been frantic in terms of attempting to fit in everything I am supposed to do, want to do, dream of doing. It has been said many a time but I feel like there are not enough hours of the day. I would like to free myself from the busyness of my life currently, as I am not able to live mindfully when I am multitasking, juggling so many balls that I don’t even know what colour they are anymore. I wish to simplify my life down to its essence, in order to find some much needed clarity and to enjoy the present instead of rushing like the White Rabbit in Wonderland.
The last three days I have been forced to slow down, to come to a stop even, due to an inflammation of my lower back muscles and the experience has been most eye opening. I have not been able to rush, there hasn't been a point to constantly looking at the time to see if I might catch up with myself. In fact, I’ve taken the time to listen carefully to all those stories I tell myself along the lines of ‘I must do this, I must do that’. I cannot believe how often I tell myself what I should be doing even in the space of just one hour! So, I have stopped and rested my back and the cats have loved me for it, for they truly appreciate their humans escaping from the demands of time; what wise souls they are. I’ve not even put on my wrist watch, settling to the patterns my body telling me what it needs to heal. I’ve actually managed to sleep a little, which has made me realise how sleep deprived I am, because I spend so much time cramming in even more jobs, more ideas, more worries. It is amazing what your body wants to tell if only you give it the time to listen.
Now, I realise that the quiet period of the last few days cannot be forever, as my back slowly returns to normal( fingers crossed), but I still wish to retain that slower pace, that ability to do one thing at a time and to listen to myself when everything is too much for me. I know this will need a lot of perseverance and many small steps in the right direction. Maybe I will start by not putting my watch on for the rest of the week...
1 comment:
There's such wisdom in stillness, but we humans seem obsessed with busyness. It's so hard to be a human being instead of a human doing! Glad you've found some peace to connect with yourself this week, Milena; and hope your back is better very soon. xx
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