Celebration Time

Right now I am feeling more than a little proud of myself, for my entry for the Sketchbook Project is complete and ready to posted to America tomorrow. I have never produced so many paintings in my life and I have certainly never created so much in such a relatively short period of time. In my introduction I wrote:

“This project has been  such an amazing personal journey as I have never attempted anything like this before; not only learning how to use a paintbrush, how to creatively express mindfulness, but also to  understand painting as a ritual.”

Wow, what an adventure this has been :)

Now that I have finished I do feel rather protective of my little book, I am more than a little frightened of sending it off into the big wide world. However, the thought of at least one person opening my book and enjoying the art I have created with such love, such passion, is good enough for me. 

Here are my last pages ( she writes with a big smile on her face):

Painting, painting and more painting!

Hello lovely friends, my blogging seems to have become a little haphazard of late as most of my creative time is being taken up with painting even more journal pages for the Sketchbook Project. I am still dreadfully behind but carrying on regardless :) 

Here are some of my latest creations, I hope you enjoy them...

(The inspiration for this came from a fab postcard sent to me 

by the lovely Lis of Dandelion Seeds and Dreams)

Long time no post!

I shake my head in shame that it is nearing the end of November and I haven't written a single blog post. Somehow the days have zoomed by, peppered with many events out of my own control, which have had to be dealt with and digested, leaving my energy and creativity levels sadly depleted. 

However, today I am determined to reconnect with that inner creative goddess, and I shall let my brushes and paints be my warrior shield. It is time to return to my Sketchbook Project art journal and paint those blues away. When I committed myself to this project I do believe I was a little naive of the amount of time and patience I would have to give myself and I certainly didn’t predict the learning curve that would ensue through the whole painting process. I am still learning to enjoy being messy, to go with the flow of the paint and to celebrate the mistakes. But on the very bright side I am seeing my own style, my own painting voice, gradually emerging and I like it :) Here are a few of my pages so far...

Samhain blessings

Wishing you all a magical Samhain.

Soft animals

Wishcasting Wednesday:
What does the soft animal of your body wish for?

“Sometimes we really do need to protect our tender desires. It can be tough out there and they may not be ready to brave the cold. But sometimes we can turn the light of that desire down so much that we forget it’s there. This is a tragedy. We lose our loves. We lose ourselves. We get lost and forget who we are. And the world loses our unique compilations of loves: the gorgeousness of country music, wisteria and sushi; the delight of minimalism, Doc Marten’s and Shakespeare. Our wildly unique loves are where our authenticity lives.”

-Jamie Ridler. The Vulnerability of Desire.

The vibrant mixure of the above compilation spoke to my heart, in fact it bought tears to me eyes. I am going through such a phase of transition, rediscovering my older passions, discovering a multitude of new ones,  and realising that I am allowed to love what is close to my heart and that indeed it doesn’t at all matter to me what people think of me anymore. I used to be so frightened of people’s negative comments, their opinions I valued much higher than my own. I lived to please others, to fit in, to feel ‘normal’. What normal was, I haven’t a clue, but it was soul destroying not to feel part of that popular crowd, forever feeling I had to change or work harder to resemble the popular people in my little corner of the world. This theme tune followed me through childhood, adolescence and deeply into adulthood. The thing is that now the rebel in me is beginning to find her voice, finding her feet. She is allowing herself to love the juxtaposition of Doc Martens and Shakespeare. So here I am...

I am hands covered in paint and an organisation addict.

I follow cosy murder mysteries and  drink in the Bronte sisters avidly.

I support myself in cosy walking attire and love  rich, magical, tie died purpleness.

I am a Leo in the limelight and crave solitude.

I lose myself in soft Celtic melodies and dance to the energy of rock.

I am a thirsty learner and deeply need stillness.

I am pretty flowered shoes and furry slippers.

I am me. 

This is who I wish to be.

The title of this wishcasting question is taken of the Mary Oliver poem Wild Geese. 

“You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” 

The soft animal of my body is now off to the blessed sanctuary of a bookshop, tingling senses whispering that Oliver is a kindred spirit.

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to fly free from?

Wishcasting Wednesday:

 What do you wish to fly free from?

Sometimes I really would like to be that ostrich in the sand, just for a little while, to have the time to rest, the time to digest, the time to hibernate and feel cocooned. At the moment my main wish therefore, is to fly away from that constant ticking of the clock, from the hands of time. These last few weeks have been frantic in terms of attempting to fit in everything I am supposed to do, want to do, dream of doing. It has been said many a time but I feel like there are not enough hours of the day. I would like to free myself from the busyness of my life currently, as I am not able to live mindfully when I am multitasking, juggling so many balls that I don’t even know what colour they are anymore. I wish to simplify my life down to its essence,  in order to find some much needed clarity and to enjoy the present instead of rushing like the  White Rabbit in Wonderland.

The last three days I have been forced to slow down, to come to a stop even, due to an inflammation of my lower back muscles and the experience has been most eye opening. I have not been able to rush, there hasn't been a point to constantly looking at the time to see if I might catch up with myself. In fact, I’ve taken the time to listen carefully to all those stories I tell myself along the lines of ‘I must do this, I must do that’. I cannot believe how often I tell myself what I should be doing even in the space of just one hour! So, I have stopped and rested my back and  the cats have loved me for it, for they truly appreciate their humans escaping from the demands of time; what wise souls they are. I’ve not even put on my wrist watch, settling to the patterns my body telling me what it needs to heal. I’ve actually managed to  sleep a little, which has made me realise how sleep deprived I am, because I spend so much time cramming in even more jobs, more ideas, more worries. It is amazing what your body wants to tell if only you give it the time to listen.

Now, I realise that the quiet period of the last few days cannot be forever, as my back slowly returns to normal( fingers crossed), but I still wish to retain that slower pace, that ability to do one thing at a time and to listen to myself when everything is too much for me. I know this will need a lot of perseverance and many small steps in the right direction.  Maybe I will start by not putting my watch on for the rest of the week...

Wishcasting Wednesday: Where do you wish to grow your confidence?

Wishcasting Wednesday: Where do you wish to grow your confidence? 

“Do the thing that scares you the most. 

By doing it, you’ll give birth to your life’s promise 

and unearth your buried dreams.”

- Kelly Rae Roberts. Taking Flight.

Confidence is something that I am greatly lacking at the moment, so a dash of it in any aspect of my life would be very much appreciated dear universe! I am feeling very much like the Cowardly Lion at the beginning of the Wizard of Oz, who feels he cannot live up to his expectations of being the  king of the beasts. He worries and worries and worries some more, he lets the fear take over. For me confidence is very much linked to courage so I wish for myself to have a little courage, a little faith in myself.

I wish to grow in confidence in my creative abilities. I accept that I am on an amazing learning journey and that it will take time to find my voice. However I wish to mindfully celebrate my daily creations, instead of always wanting perfection, of always wanting to move on.

In connection with this I wish to have the courage to stop comparing myself to others, to have the strength to cherish the awe inspiring friends and mentors I am fortunate enough to have, instead of telling myself those negative stories of how I will never be as amazing as they are. If only I could see the magic in myself as easily as I see it in others!

Lastly I wish to grow in confidence in my quest to dream big. I chose DREAM BIG as my theme for this year; it has woven in and out of each season, sometimes passionately strong, sometimes whispering when I succumb to every day life, with its promise of safety and control. My greatest challenge so far this year is starting on Monday, when the Alchemy writing course begins. Writing is my my biggest dream of all, the one I also have the least confidence in. I wish to let my words sparkle, to love the words that are part of being me...