Walking the threads

So this week Spider has been gracing me with her presense over and over again. Those who know me are aware that I have quite an irrational fear of spiders, as many do, and I am usually more likely to be found running away from the tiny creatures, squeeling and begging someone to save me, rather than sneaking up close to take a more detailed look. But as part of my work on developing my intuitive skills I have been delving into the world of animal/spirit guides, my perspective opening up and beyond. I shake my head in wonder over and over again how I am finally becoming aware of ancient wisdom and lessons, which  I would not have given the time, nor the respect, to before. How easy it is to accept that distance from our origins.

I came across the most delicate, glistening spider web in my back garden, spun from the crisp November washing line to a plant container sitting dorment on the ground, highlighted beautifully by late Autumnal sunbeams. I stopped in my tracks, rushing towards the next item on my to do list completely forgotten. In the centre she was, still as still can be. Watching me intently. I’ve never examined the beauty of a web before and felt drawn to photograph its intricacy. I honestly felt awe at the intense achievement of this clever spider, who can create such beauty just by being her natural self and felt myself examining her just as closely as her home.

Once back inside I started researching and in the process I found a wealth of  strong medicine. Here are some of the delicious morsels I discovered:

Spider is the grandmother, the link to the past and the future. She is the wheel of life, the wheel of connections.

She is the spiral weaver, the centre of a world she constructs. She weaves her destiny.

She is the creative force with assertive feminine energy, focused with intent.

She is a unique combination of gentleness and incredible strenght.

She walks the threads with careful balance, both the physical and spiritual realms.

She is an ancient keeper of languages, a writer’s totem, a keeper of  knowledge and words.

Who knew that my fear hid such beauty and clarity?! I have much to learn from Spider.

Trick or treat?

***A little late in coming but wishing you all the magic of Samhain ***

The theme this week is trick or treat and as I carved my first pumpkin  and my husband baked his first pumpkin pie ever, I thought I would show the evidence with pride!

Vulnerable

My  intention for Dreamchair Adventures has always been  to reach for the many positives in my life and to share these with other kindred spirits. However, I am slowly but surely coming to the realisation that in order to put my whole self, my truth, out there, there also have to be moments of vulnerability. Hopefully this is not going to develop into a moaning post, where I pass on my misery to the world, but I do want you to see the whole me, warts and all. Thus, I shall put my brave hat on and continue typing away, building up the courage to hit the publish button at the end.

It has been one of those weeks when I have been able to  physically feel how tense and anxious I am. I am full of knots and twisted edges, of forced, strained movements.  Whilst there are  current events making my week far from stunning, there are also those underlying factors that periodically rise to the surface, and which I must work through time and time again:

Autumn is my favourite time of year, it is when I am at my most creative, my most productive. The crisp air and glorious colours make me feel so alive, so connected to my world. However, it is also the season when my physical self begins to drop, to struggle, to have to face battle to begin each day. I am often so very tired that I feel fully depleted, with nothing left. Thus I am  full to the brim with frustration. Add to this mixture  those negative gremlins, whispering so persuasively into my ear as I contemplate putting my art out into the world as motivation cards and you have an uncertain and most self critical me.

My anxiety levels are also stupidly high. Anxiety about what others think of me mixed with a heavy dose of anxious responsibility for the people in my life. To me there seem to be many cutting remarks and words said in the heat of the moment. People don’t seem to consider other people’s feelings as much as they used to, it is a harsher world I live in. As well as this I have been reminded this week how precious life is, and how very quickly it can change. Just like that. What you imagine to last forever, or do not expect to happen, has a habit of changing the goal posts. Of course we all know this piece of wisdom but reminders leave me feeling frightened, questioning everything. I think too much. I am not good at change. And as part of this week’s events I realise that the momentum of my fear of death and loss is building;I know that there is much work to be done there. I’ve never admitted I have this fear but releasing the words feels right at this moment in time somehow.

Staying with the idea of this harsher world I find myself in, and attempting to end this post on a positive note,  I do like to think that I am a warrior in the battle for good. I fight for that magical element, for a world filled with beauty, a world  full of  kindness and heart and dare I say happiness. As you can imagine  I am not very good at watching the news! I do think the world needs people who believe in this better world,  to keep the balance in tact; stopping the negativity and inhumanity from possessing it completely.  

Sometimes life is hard and I feel vulnerable. What do you do when those vulnerable moments hit with force?

Look up!

This week the theme to interpret is 'look up!' I lacked inspiration for this one, having already taken my fill of Autumn tree and cloud scenes this season, as well as feeling under the weather and therefore not particularly wishing to go wandering far. However, I woke up this morning and that light bulb pinged as I looked at my ceiling- up doesn't have to mean outside, I could have kicked myself for thinking too much inside the box. I love stars very much, they give such hope, such light, and so I try to collect as many as possible to keep me company inside when I cannot be outside to take in their timeless glory.

I am the symphony of stars.

Rumi

Autumn colours

This week's theme is Autumn Colours; a perfect fit for an Autumn lover like me. It was most interesting searching for quotes and poems to connect with my pictures , as so many with an Autumn theme are down right miserable! Autumn as the time of loss, of loneliness and impending darkness- it had me shaking my head in sheer disbelief, as for me personally it is the season of much richness and  creativity. I look forward to this time with all my being. But in the end I found a good old Bronte sister to support my heart's conviction and I shall also repeat my favourite George Eliot quote for good measure.

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the Autumn tree.

Emily Bronte

Delicious Autumn! My soul is wedded to it and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive Autumns.

George Eliot

Handwriting

Handwriting is this week's theme over at Bella's 52 Photos Project and I have say, I really loved creating my entry as it is a most personal one. The writing is from my journal, one of the most precious things I possess. My journal is the very heart of me; a treasure trove of memories and possibilities, fears and dreams, lessons learned and still to learn, explorations of both complex emotions and the very simple. Most important of all is that it is full of my stories. Journal writing is a saviour and inspiration for this soul.

Circles

This week's theme over at 52 Photos Project is circles. As I feel I am somewhat going round in them at the moment, searching for circles seemed deliciously ironic.

...But somewhere in a quiet place she packs her bags for outer space and now she is waiting...I would fly to the moon and back...and reaching out for human faith is a journey I don't have a map for...she's hanging all her hope on the stars, what a pleasant dream...

(My loved lines from To the Moon and Back by Savage Garden)