I found it on the ground

This week's prompt is 'I found it on the ground'. Contributing something that was not my usual garden style shot was trickier than I thought it would be . Then I remembered this tile, which I bought because of its powerful message: Carpe Diem, seize the day! A lesson I need to be reminded of often.

An art class memory

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about why I never chose to pursue art after finishing secondary school. All of my childhood was spent creating, dreaming of being an artist, being totally immersed for hours and hours in my creations. Yet somehow by the time I had left school it wasn’t even an option anymore. It really took some digging but the conclusion I came to was that my GCSE art teacher, and the curriculum at the time, played huge factors in extinguishing that fire within in me for years and years. The idea of not being good enough to succeed was planted most firmly, and so I took the academic route instead, knowing that I could excel at this. Exploring my creative path could well have been an opportunity for expression and release of emotions, which I so badly needed to do during some pretty dark times.

The memory that has risen to the surface is not an earth shattering moment when all fell apart, but rather a lingering infusion of feeling second rate. Each piece that I attempted was met with criticism, not constructive criticism, which I could develop and grow with, but comments that let me know that my style, my imagination, did not fit in with achieving a high grade. Every time I created I had this thought of ‘Will it be good enough this time?’ endlessly circling in my mind, and subconsciously I began to turn my artwork into what I believed my teacher wanted to see. I began to please her rather than expressing myself. Not detailed enough. Too much colour. The perspective is all wrong. You can’t paint in that way. Look at your friend’s work as she has done what I have asked. All these  horrid comments over and over again, and I am sure there were many more. I do admit I was a sensitive child, therefor everything was very much taken to heart. But shouldn’t a good teacher have recognised this? She was a voice I trusted, whose voice I didn’t doubt in the slightest because of the faith I had in teachers. Examining her motives in retrospect, I believe she must have had self esteem issues of her own, a real need to have that position of power  in order to voice such harsh words, to make an unsure teen feel even more inadequate.

The memory mad me think in a lot of detail about my own teaching style, how I hope with all my heart that I never make the children I work with feel that way. Encouragement, warmth and connection are vital. Only when a child feels safe and welcome can constructive criticism take place. I want my children to become confident in their expression, to become independent learners, who are not afraid of what their teacher might say.

It sounds a bit silly now that I am adult, but even today the idea of doing an art qualification fills me with such dread, even though I really want to develop my skills. I am creating lots and lots and have found a safe arena for my creations on this blog, on blogs of other creatives and in the e courses of some amazing mentors. But as for physically going to a class and learning, I shake my head in doubt. Lis of Dandelion Seeds and Dreams posted a wonderful video recently, in which she stated that from quite early on in her life she had this thought of ‘I should know all this’ and how this then had a negative impact on her asking to learn something new, however much she loved the subject. I am rather a lot like that, I feel like I should know so much more about art tools, techniques and styles. Be it painting, mixed media or even photography,  the fear of asking in case I get told again that I am not good enough is still so raw. However, if I am brave, I do have the knowledge to ask what ‘good enough’ constitutes! Surely art is one creative rainbow learning journey, and it is so subjective that one person’s ‘wrong’ is another person’s favourite piece of art. If someone creates something to express themselves then it is art, whether you can connect with it is each individual's choice. I would love to time travel back to that unquestioning teenager and whisper that question in her ear.

Colour

Here is my entry for this week's 52 Photos Project. The prompt 'colour' really speaks to me as my artwork and photography seems to be developing a signature of an increasingly vibrant colour palette. I am rather addicted to the colours of the rainbow at the moment.

The 'pocket rainbow' is by The Rainbow Room ; I really do love the idea of keeping a jolly rainbow in your pocket for when life needs an injection of positivity!

A friendship day

Purposefully, I delayed my weekly  post this week as  I knew how wonderful today would be and I wanted to share some of that loveliness on my blog. You see today I finally managed to meet the charming Helen of Dixon Hill in the gorgeous setting of Haworth, Bronte country. 

I am astounded what an impact the online creative community has had on my life. I met Helen for the first time in Susannah Conway’s Unravelling class online and so this was a very special day to meet my friend in person! There I was,  meeting someone for the first time, who I already knew so much about,  and admired  deeply, without having talked to her or even having heard her voice. Needless to say Helen was even lovelier in real life than I could imagine her to be. My life feels so much richer through the friendships that are forming through these creative tribes, I know for certain that I wouldn’t be as inspired or as committed to my creativity without these wonderful, strong, inspiring women like Helen who reach out so warmly. Having spent a few hours in her company, my head is buzzing with ideas from working on going to a creative retreat, to creating a more dedicated space for my art work,to finally grasping the nettle and learning how to use my sewing machine!

Haworth itself was a gorgeous setting with its cobbled streets and friendly looking shops. Needless to say I felt the need to purchase the odd item as a reminder of a lovely day such as the polished glass piece below, which sits proudly on my desk now. 

As it was the day after the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate, there were many street bunting flags fluttering merrily in the breeze. 

Whilst on the subject of the wedding, I must take a tangent and say what a glorious occasion it was. I thoroughly enjoyed celebrating with the majority of the nation as this young couple with so much potential for the future, married in  elegance and with such a connection between them. So often Britain is in the news for negative reasons so it was a really pleasant change to feel really proud of a day when the nation did something well; be it the cheerful street parties, the sheer beauty of the occasion or the celebration of traditions in all their glory.

Back to Haworth, if you ever visit there you must have lunch at Cobbles and Clay, a cafe come pottery painting establishment,  which serves really tasty homemade food, using fairtrade products along with  locally sourced ingredients. uI always remember a place by what I have eaten there, strange but true, and I never wanted my caramelised onion and goats cheese tart to end ;)

Of course Helen showed me the moors she loves so much, they were absolutely breathtaking. I could imagine wondering for hours amongst the stunning scenery with its rich textures and colours. Helen is fabulous photographer of the moors so you must take a look at her website to do this striking environment justice.

Although there wasn’t time to visit the Bronte museum this time, I couldn’t resist taking a quick shot of the museum sign. I thought  the silhouette against the backdrop of trees was a most beautiful sight at the end of a really lovely outing.

Nourish

Today I am posting my first entry on my lovely friend Bella’s photography website, 52 Photos Project. I am so pleased she has created this site as Bella is a very talented lady indeed, and so full of life, warmth and inspiration that I am glad she is sharing it with the world. Each week there will be a photography theme posted; for the opening week it is ‘nourish’, which will then be  followed by a series of interviews with photographers. I’ve already soaked up the first and can’t wait for more, Bella knows how to find beauty.  Tips on photography and blogging are also promised,what else can a girl ask for :) So here is my contribution for this week:

Nourish

Simple pleasures

Just a quick post today as I am intent on exploring the glorious April sunshine! I can honestly say that I have never experienced an Easter holiday like this, it is making my spirits soar and it is all the sweeter after such a terribly cold, long lasting winter.  In fact I’ve been blessed with quite a marvelous week altogether, packed to the brim with simple loveliness;I am feeling more light hearted than I have in a very long time...

I’ve spent time with my gorgeous nieces this week. The oldest one, Summer, calls me Auntie Moon, which makes me chuckle every time as I am not sure where the name came from, but I love the idea of being a moon auntie!

I’ve also spent time delving into the wonderful world of Folksy, honoring my quest this year to buy as many presents as I can by supporting creatives rather than giving mainstream shops my money. I’ve discovered some amazing artists in the process, you must take a look at these:

http://www.folksy.com/shops/thelinencat

http://www.folksy.com/shops/therainbowroom

http://www.folksy.com/shops/gooseberrymoon

http://www.folksy.com/shops/hbceramics

The bowl in my opening shot is from the last link, H B Cermamics, I am utterly in love  and had better discover that illusive money tree in order to expand my treasure collection. 

Today I’ve spent hours in my local garden centre and returned home with a rainbow of new plants, I fear I was very much like a child in a sweet shop with so much beauty, so much magic! 

I know I’ve written about my garden before, but it astounds me each time a new, how healing, how invigorating it feels to spend time out there. It is at last becoming a garden fit for a goddess.

And of course I have been spending plenty of time with my gorgeous pusses, who are clearly enjoying the novelty of barmy warm days and nights, freshly cut grass  as well as the opportunity to have their humans  serve them many hours a day. Thus I leave you with a picture of my Shadow cat, curiously exploring my camera lens.

Footprints

I nearly didn’t write today. My thoughts are feeling rusty, disjointed, muddled even. I am tired and that temptation not to write with the excuse that nothing will make much sense anyway, was nearly enough. However, I vowed to myself that this year I would write weekly, not matter what, and I am holding onto that with a fierce grip. Writing these weekly posts has made me think much  more intensely about my week - for the first time in forever I am writing regularly, no mean feat I tell you! So I apologise if my thoughts today are not crystal clear but I need to press the publish button before I change my mind!

So my topic this week is shoes and the feet within them. I’ve never really given much thought to my feet before, in fact I confess to having quite a phobia. I cover them whenever I can, even in the summer months no sandal will cross my path. My perspective has however shifted significantly over the last couple of days, as I have been reading yet another juicy chapter of Women Who Run With Wolves. The chapter that got me thinking is based on the story Red Shoes, a tale showing in no uncertain terms what happens when you ignore the warning signs; when a true creative life is repressed and then, as it hasn’t any outlet, turns into mania, obsession and pain. The girl in the story is fine whilst she has her own hand made red shoes, they express who she is, she is proud of making them, they make her unique. They reflect her creative soul and she is alive in them. However, then she is taken in by an older woman, who wants to help a poor orphan, but who in the process represses her by not allowing those much treasured red shoes. This all leads to the girl sneaking a pair of coveted red shoes into her world, but they are not connected to her, she hasn’t made them, they are merely an attempt at compensation for what she cannot really have and this in turn  causes a lot of trouble. She tries to stay away but those sparkling, glowing material world shoes take over her mind and she is cursed to dance in them for eternity.

Whilst the story is a powerful warning, it is also a celebration of those handmade red shoes; creativity, soul, spirit, roots. For feet are our roots.Those first red shoes are an amazing expression of a creative wild woman and to be treasured immensely. 

“Shoes can tell something about what we are like, sometimes even who we are aspiring to be, the persona we are trying out.” 

Clarissa Pinkola Estes 

The connection  then for me is that for a long time shoes have been a means for covering my feet up. One of the many means of hiding what I do not like about myself. But I’ve sat there examining my footwear with fresh eyes today, my attention drawn to the flowery plimsolls, the funky energetic baseball boots, the worked leather of my healed boots, that are slowly but surely taking over the plain black shoes, the dreary,  soulless trainers-  the more I grow into my own truth, the stronger my shoes seem to resemble who  I am deep inside. I see a bolder, more vibrant, sparkling, soulful me in these shoes, and those are the roots I want to take hold. The proof is in my feet!  Estes also writes about the meaning of feet as symbols of  mobility and freedom, with shoes protecting and defending these wonders and allowing them to be. Maybe I need to take a closer look at those feet of mine. I think it is wonderful to see my shoes as purposeful protectors instead of vessels for hiding. Yet another step towards valuing myself, both the good bits and the bad.

After much inner dialogue I have managed to take a photo of my foot,

 a starting point if ever there was one.

Still on the feet theme,  Estes also writes of leaving footprints.  i.e. doing something to connect with the wild woman within. Doing something you love and making it matter means that you will leave your own remarkable stamp on your world. It doesn’t always have to be vastly life changing, nor on a grand scale, but it does have to connect with the soul. I know very well that in order to make my own footprints I must  continue to embrace my creative red shoes, stepping forward in them with life and purpose. I love the idea of leaving creative footprints, it is a gentle way of reminding myself that I matter; my world may be a small one but  it is lovely to think that I am sharing myself within this world.

I know for certain that I shall be looking at other peoples' shoes over the next few days. What do your feet say about you?

I just had to include this quick shot of Charlie's paws,

which make the most gorgeous set of footprints.